I swear she didn't look like that last week.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
