He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
