i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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