Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
