I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
