I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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