I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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