Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
only if we run a train.
done.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
