my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
