Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
