he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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