D3 body, D1 cock
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
