what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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