I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
