been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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