just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
