woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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