my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
