What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
