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And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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