She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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