Farmville is her only friend.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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