Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You work out of a Hotel?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just found puke in my bra..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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