What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
