why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Randomize
