Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
