There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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