So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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