I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
