make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
