Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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