After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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