Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
