youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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