Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
