3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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