they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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