I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
