By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
