I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
