How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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