I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't put those talents on a resume
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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