Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
