i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
