we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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