ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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