I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
