Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
