ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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