i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it glows. i had to have it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
COCAINE IS GR8
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
