did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
