go do what you do best...puke behind churches
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I cut my penus on the lid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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