It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
