I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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